Preface: Wrote this poem about 4 months back, found it today while surfing on my Google Docs. Not in a mood to change the font to Devnagari right now.
Beti lakshmi ka roop hai
jane yeh kitna sach, kitna jhoot hai
jin haathon ko pakad kabhi chalna sikhaya
aaj unhi haathon mein mehendi rachi hai
waqt na jane kaise beet gaya
aaj usi beti ki doli saji hai
dulhan bankar, saj-dhaj kar
aaj badi woh khush hai
maa-baap, parivaar chhoot jayenge aaj
bas yahi ek use dukh hai
jab bichhadna hai fir milne ke liye
fir bhi kyon aankhen bhar aati hai
beti paida hi hoti hai jane ke liye
fir kyon sab rote hai jab woh sasural jati hai
jab jab uski yaad sataye
ghar par milne woh aati hai
apni hi kokh se toh janam diya
fir kyon parayi kehlati hai ?
do parivaaron mein bantkar
bhi woh khush rehti hai
uski duvidha woh hi jane
kisise na kuchh kehti hai
Friday, August 21, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
My 'bhaav' skills
One of the many concerns I had while re-migrating was how to buy vegetables in India.
I used to always refuse to go with my mom to the sabji-mandi as she used to bargain a lot or as we say do a lot of bhaav. 3 years in US was easy- just go to Cub Foods/Walmart/Krogers and grab whatever you need, put it in the cart, pay by credit card and drive back home happily. Even though you get vegetables in departmental stores in India too, they are not as fresh as the local sabji-mandi and expensive too. So one fine day, I went to the sabjiwalas that sit outside my house. I looked at cauliflower and said nervously "kaisa diya flower?" (I had gone reluctantly with mom a few times), he said "8 rupay paav". I had absolutely no idea whether this was cheap or expensive. But still I tried to maaro chance and said,"7 lagao, aadha leti hoon." To my surprise he agreed. I was thinking I should have said 6. Nevertheless, this continued for about a week by when I got an idea of which vegetable is running at what rate in the market.
I was back from jodhpur after a week and we went 'sabji' shopping. We took some 4-5 vegetables from the same vendor, the total cost came to 82. My husband gave me 105 Rs and said softly "I challenge you to get me back 30 Rs". Ab toh meri izzat ka sawaal tha. "pachattar laga lo bhaiyya",I said. He did no-no, I did yes-yes for some while after which I shouted loudly "Bilkul baraabar hai". He finally resigned and gave me back 30 Rs which I turned around and flashed to my husband smilingly.
I used to always refuse to go with my mom to the sabji-mandi as she used to bargain a lot or as we say do a lot of bhaav. 3 years in US was easy- just go to Cub Foods/Walmart/Krogers and grab whatever you need, put it in the cart, pay by credit card and drive back home happily. Even though you get vegetables in departmental stores in India too, they are not as fresh as the local sabji-mandi and expensive too. So one fine day, I went to the sabjiwalas that sit outside my house. I looked at cauliflower and said nervously "kaisa diya flower?" (I had gone reluctantly with mom a few times), he said "8 rupay paav". I had absolutely no idea whether this was cheap or expensive. But still I tried to maaro chance and said,"7 lagao, aadha leti hoon." To my surprise he agreed. I was thinking I should have said 6. Nevertheless, this continued for about a week by when I got an idea of which vegetable is running at what rate in the market.
I was back from jodhpur after a week and we went 'sabji' shopping. We took some 4-5 vegetables from the same vendor, the total cost came to 82. My husband gave me 105 Rs and said softly "I challenge you to get me back 30 Rs". Ab toh meri izzat ka sawaal tha. "pachattar laga lo bhaiyya",I said. He did no-no, I did yes-yes for some while after which I shouted loudly "Bilkul baraabar hai". He finally resigned and gave me back 30 Rs which I turned around and flashed to my husband smilingly.
Spoon Feeding vs Bureaucracy
This is another in the series of re-migration to India. 4 years of spoon-feeding in US spoils you enough to get starting problems in India.Now you must be wondering what sort of spoon feeding am I talking about here.
Scenario 1: You are a new hire in a US company. The HR greets you with a big big (of course fake) smile. She tells you about the company policies and regulations, makes you sign the 'privacy' documents, medical insurance etc etc. She even explains you the 401K plan punctuated by some jokes on which you smile hesitantly (bcos u dont know who is she trying to make fun of ).Then she takes you to the seat allocated for you.Your team manager comes to you and greets you with a stiff smile (techies havent yet learnt the art of fake big smiles). He briefs you on the projects they have in mind for you. He talks about your past experiences/education etc etc. And then takes you around to meet with the entire team.He then delegates the job of setting up your machine, account, deskphone etc etc to one of his subordinates. You start attending weekly team 'meetings' ( a big big waste of time) and then get on track with your work.
Scenario 2 (or rather my first working experience in India): The HR calls me and tells me she has a list of some 50 documents that I need to submit while joining. She has sent me the list in an email. I open the email and see a document with 4-5 paras of text. I read it carefully twice and collect all my documents and go to the office first day for induction, thinking I am all prepared. And then I come to know that there is another group in the company which requires some 20 documents 'immediately',which also includes my X and XII marksheets and engg 'all' semester marksheets!! I havent seen/used these documents in ages.Luckily hubby is at home, he runs downstairs to the stationery shop and faxes me the documents. They just assume everybody carries their marksheets for induction. And to my surprise, most of the other candidates did have their X and XII marksheets with them. In addition to the 4 passport sized photographs submitted to the Background check team, they need another 4 passport size photographs (Again, they just assume that everybody carries 4 passport size photographs with them). Luckily that day, I was carrying mine.
The point I am trying to make is in US even common knowledge is iterated so many times that sometimes you get sick of it. For example, hardly anyone is actually hearing what the HR says about company confidential policies. You are just sitting there nodding to every word that she says and actually thinking about which restaurant you would go for lunch today. But in India, there are a lot of unsaid rules and regulations which has now become common knowledge and hence there is no need felt to actually say it out aloud.But to someone like me, it translates to a lot of running around. Its been almost 2 weeks since I joined, and I submitted one document yesterday and one document is still pending !
I am hoping in some time, I would come out of US 'spoon-feeding' mode to Indian 'bureaucracy' mode.
Lessons learnt: Carry all your documents for any official purpose in India, you never know when what will be required.
PS: Did you notice my habit of putting quotes to highlight a point ? One of the many gifts from Uncle Sam.
Scenario 1: You are a new hire in a US company. The HR greets you with a big big (of course fake) smile. She tells you about the company policies and regulations, makes you sign the 'privacy' documents, medical insurance etc etc. She even explains you the 401K plan punctuated by some jokes on which you smile hesitantly (bcos u dont know who is she trying to make fun of ).Then she takes you to the seat allocated for you.Your team manager comes to you and greets you with a stiff smile (techies havent yet learnt the art of fake big smiles). He briefs you on the projects they have in mind for you. He talks about your past experiences/education etc etc. And then takes you around to meet with the entire team.He then delegates the job of setting up your machine, account, deskphone etc etc to one of his subordinates. You start attending weekly team 'meetings' ( a big big waste of time) and then get on track with your work.
Scenario 2 (or rather my first working experience in India): The HR calls me and tells me she has a list of some 50 documents that I need to submit while joining. She has sent me the list in an email. I open the email and see a document with 4-5 paras of text. I read it carefully twice and collect all my documents and go to the office first day for induction, thinking I am all prepared. And then I come to know that there is another group in the company which requires some 20 documents 'immediately',which also includes my X and XII marksheets and engg 'all' semester marksheets!! I havent seen/used these documents in ages.Luckily hubby is at home, he runs downstairs to the stationery shop and faxes me the documents. They just assume everybody carries their marksheets for induction. And to my surprise, most of the other candidates did have their X and XII marksheets with them. In addition to the 4 passport sized photographs submitted to the Background check team, they need another 4 passport size photographs (Again, they just assume that everybody carries 4 passport size photographs with them). Luckily that day, I was carrying mine.
The point I am trying to make is in US even common knowledge is iterated so many times that sometimes you get sick of it. For example, hardly anyone is actually hearing what the HR says about company confidential policies. You are just sitting there nodding to every word that she says and actually thinking about which restaurant you would go for lunch today. But in India, there are a lot of unsaid rules and regulations which has now become common knowledge and hence there is no need felt to actually say it out aloud.But to someone like me, it translates to a lot of running around. Its been almost 2 weeks since I joined, and I submitted one document yesterday and one document is still pending !
I am hoping in some time, I would come out of US 'spoon-feeding' mode to Indian 'bureaucracy' mode.
Lessons learnt: Carry all your documents for any official purpose in India, you never know when what will be required.
PS: Did you notice my habit of putting quotes to highlight a point ? One of the many gifts from Uncle Sam.
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